


Hi, I’m FBI

by girlxgirlsxboy



Category: Voltron - Fandom
Genre: AU FBI, Fuckboi?lance, Gen, Kay Keith just has a small amount of knives, Keith has semi-proper grammar, M/M, MEME TOWN, brief mention of shiro, but it’s not a collection, crackfic, fbi!lance, he likes looking at them, implied college student!Keith, keith actually doesn’t collect knifes, keith collects knifes, lance can’t text normal, shiro owns a ranch in Texas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 04:50:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13697211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlxgirlsxboy/pseuds/girlxgirlsxboy
Summary: A very short (crack)fic from that one meme about the fbi watching me





	Hi, I’m FBI

Keith went on a vacation to Shiro’s ranch in Texas for spring break, unfortunately, that meant barely any cell service since the ranch is in the middle of nowhere. He wasn’t able to really go on any of his social media. 

He kinda has a problem, okay it’s not a problem it’s an obsession with knives. It’s funny but he really only has 4 knives. But he has 14 pages opened on his phone with different kinds of knives, his only Pinterest board is titled “Knifey”, and his Tumblr username is Iliky_myknify. 

Sure Keith likes knives but it’s not like he murders people with them. So when he gets an unknown text on Tuesday morning after he returned home from Shiro’s ranch he was slightly shocked. 

689XXXXXXX: Heyyyyyy its been a fat min since u posted online I was wonderin if ur ok

Keith: uhhh sorry who is this? I think you have the wrong number

689XXXXXXX: Nah I know I have the right digits Keith. I jus wanted 2 make sure ur ok

Keith was freaking out, what if he had a stalker. He was this close to calling the police. Before he did tho he decided to text back for some stupid reason. 

Keith: uhh who are you?

689XXXXXXX: oh hello the names Lance and Im da FBI agent dats assign 2 u

Keith: what the actual fuck

Lance: I was jus checkin up on u dude dont get ur knickers in a twist 

Keith: why the hell  
Keith: are you being serious?  
Keith: If you are being serious why would you contact me???

Lance: well I was makin sure u didnt stab som1 to death and go underground  
Lance: considerin u post about knives everyday w/out fail

Keith: what no I want to my adopted brothers house in the middle of nowhere  
Keith: I had no cell service  
Keith: I like knives so that’s my business.  
Keith: I only have 4 knives 

Keith has no idea why he’s still talking to this so called FBI agent. 

Lance: ok dude my b  
Lance: so ik dis is kinda un professenal but do u wanna maybe be my Frien?

What the hell is going on. 

Keith: okay lance or whoever you are. Do you understand how weird this is? How do I know you’re not just a stalker?

Lance: uhhhh I didn’t know where u went because u didn’t text ur bro that u were goin there  
Lance: how could I not know that if I was a stalker  
Lance: I don’t have access 2 wear u live dude dats outa my jurisdiction I just flag u when somth happens outa ordenary  
Lance: welp now ik u good so imma bounce I got night shift for tree days ttyl dude

Keith just sat there shell shocked, he stared at his phone till he spoke what felt like three minutes later. “What the actual fuck!”

**Author's Note:**

> So sorry about that very gross writing I wasn’t feeling to hot and most likely delirious but hey what can you do?
> 
> If you like Voltron or Boku no hero academia check out our discord! I’m one of the mods! https://discord.gg/ErZYgqt


End file.
